Wednesday, October 13, 2010

coMpliCated feELinGs

hi reader, if u hav known me from facebook my bf broke up with me. At one moment, i felt speechless cos he would never such things to me.. and for a moment i think i always believe his decision is always right.. i dont know.. i trust him so much til i will agree with his decision.. i kinder feel numb maybe we both get use to it being hurt all time and sad.. its normal and more of like routine?? gosh..

realize each time we chat we sure have problems and argue over something ! but when we see each other is like we r lost loving couples! we would never wanna talk bout anything but to hug each other knowing we wait long enough for that moment.. i felt love.. nothing i wan to do but jus hug him all night and be close wif him all i wan.. now i m trying to say i wish to see him badly huh?? all these years our communication had been a big issue in our relationship.. we cant get things right.. even if we wanna share things we cant be sure on how things go or what we can imagine.. we barely knew each other and we hardly see each other.. how can we imagine things from different side...

this 2 days i been keeping my feeling inside me.. i wanna be sad and cry but i cant.. flashback the time i received a call from my sister telling me my best friend pass away and i hardly have any feelings.. i cant imagine and no tears..nothing.. i m like numb.. after went to his funeral, i felt crying out loud asking for help.. i cant help myself but crying days n nights.. out of nowhere all kinds of feeling runing through my mind.. back to my work.. i been working for 2 nights.. of course wif keng liang i cant even sad.. seriously having around i will jus put a smile on my face.. i cant think of anything jus work and get things done.. i jus smile and laugh when i m at work..feeling proud and act nothing and its numb..

now.. few friends came over and comforted me.. after talking to my girls, i cant stand it but cry.. realize i m really sad.. inside of me.. keeping those sad feeling for days..weeks.. months.. i cant help it but cry.. knowing i m gonna loose someone i lov.. i m not sure what i wanna do.. i use to be happy go lucky girl with no problems and party all time.. i dont even know where is me.. i still wanna post this song.. i been loving this song for years and meant to dedicate to someone i lov...

i lov this song cos they always remind me of someone i lov.. something i felt that he is away far from me that i will wait him no matter what it takes.. i m sure lots of couples cant stand long distance relationship for years! we been through so much.. there is always fights and argument but knowing we still lov each other inside.. we get it out somehow.. i dont know why we just cant this time.. this song always remind me of how much pain we been through jus to wait for the moment to see each other again.. thats all for now...see u soon readers..

may God bless u ahead..
i lov u!

1 comment:

sook koon said...

i really felt the pain loosing him =(