Tuesday, October 12, 2010

FeELinGS =(

1st of all i dont know why i m here and why m i writing.. maybe cos i got no one to share or way to express now.. guess writing over here been a way of putting everything out.. Recently been thinking whats lov is about.. now i m confuse and scared.. i been dating with my bf for the past few years.. long distance relationship but we had been very strong holding it not letting each other go knowing one day we can be together..

we barely knew each other.. when we start date, it jus happen and now we are.. know him for less than a week then been in relationship for years.. maybe cos we dont see each other and been curious getting to know each other more.. we come from different world, different character,cities, backgrounds and etc etc.. basically almost everything! nothing much in common.. and how in the world we last so long when both of us come from different planet.. maybe its a new things to try each other world.. who knoes! we jus get along and its amazing..loving sweet couple.. sweet childhood dating..guess so..haha..

now both of us grown up and we grown different part.. i always want to celebrate any particular day or event with the person i love like my birthday or his, valentine, anniversary.. but non of those were important to the person i lov.. well for me this is what girls always wan to do celebrating having lots of fun,memories,pictures, gift, surprises.. i get over it after some time knowing those special event the person i lov wont be around celebrating wif me.. guess i never been through any special event just for both of us expect vacation??

i always thought he is the one.. special one which every girls would always think.. gosh,make me think back how silly n dumb i act in front of him and yet he would say i lov u.. jus flashback what we do when we r in genting inside the cable car.. trying to tease each other.. neh.. i m not gonna further than.. thats for me to think back and just to put a smile on my face for once.. back to now.. yesterday i received a sweet msg from him.. writing a story bout us jus to ask forgiveness.. hardly he done something for me but those were like something i would cherish.. its sweet,loving and memories... but today i received a msg from him that any girls out there would nv wan to hear from their own bf.. its pain,cold, cruel,sad n heartbroken.. after years of being together then suddenly u r awake! knowing u r the worst person he had ever meet in his life that had make him suffer throughout the years.. jus feel like kneeling down and tell myself i been the worst gf ever in someone's life.. part of it i know myself that i m wrong.. part of it.. its the worst thing he ever speck to someone and i have to be the worst or what... i suddenly think back gosh! i used to be happy go lucky girl and what happen to me now? omg.. i jus felt that i fail in everything.. seriously stupid.. guess i wanna end here.. i jus wanna talk to my imaginary friends.. thats all i guess.. i lov u readers!


1 comment:

matthew said...

there are eyes peeking through the windows u opened... u might not open your door of emotion but u will have friends looking after you. i hope you'll be fine ;)